Goal getting: Helpful Conversations

Having conversations is how we rope in other people into our cause, into the changes we want to make. No big thing worth doing gets done alone, so, at some point, you are going to need other people. They can be our biggest source of energy and support, or it can be quite the opposite.

People around you (especially in your personal circle) might like you just the way you are. That is a good thing as such, but that can also hold you back as you are looking to make changes and step into a bigger and better future, into the next iteration of who you are (as being-in-becoming).

If everyone else around you is a bit stagnating, they can react with fear or criticism (you moved first! You showed everyone how much wiggle room they would have had; were they just a bit braver!). Or they just don’t understand the new life you are looking to build for yourself as it is so different from their own. They might want to help and support in principle but they might be quite clueless as to what support might look like for you. And not everyone likes change (especially not when initiated by somebody else).

So, whatever the situation is, you are going to have to have conversations with people.

The better you prep, the better they are going to go:

—Remind yourself why you want to make that change or reach that goal. How will this make your life better? What is in it for them? What are the bigger positive results this could bring?

—Find a suitable time and space for the conversation. Suitable means, it needs to suit them (even though you are practically bursting).

—Explain what you are looking to do, why this is important for you and why you would like to make that change. If you need their support, be specific how they might be able to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask. (have options of different “chunking sizes” if possible)

If there is something in it for them, even better!

That is of course the best case scenario. But what to do if you expect them to be critical?

You might ask them to hold off on judging until you had a chance to give things a good solid try. Or, if you have a very good relationship with them, you can also rope them as devil’s advocates to find possible faults in your plans that will help you fine tune.

Also (and this is key!): choose your battles. Not everybody needs to know about everything from day 1 and it is perfectly alright to just wanting to work something out with yourself or those close to you before roping in a wider circle. That is OK. Look after yourself and your energy levels. It’s your life and your plans, goals and ideas – so you decide.

And when you do start seeing positive results, keep your supporters in the loop and rope them into celebrations.

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