How do our values become our values? A lot of it has to do with how/where and with whom we grew up. I just spend a weekend at a family reunion, and this very much hit home the realization that I lot of what I value comes from childhood. What people say, and, more important, what people do.
And then you either get with the program, or you do exactly the opposite. Or, after much reflection and maturing, you find a way that is truly yours that transcends and includes the initial script. I have a younger brother and for most of our 20s and early 30s, we were not in touch, so we became adults separately. Reconnecting now, it is so interesting and very very touching to see where we are separate, what annoys and delights us, and how we think things should be run. We are frighteningly similar sometimes.
And sometimes we have the same values and they just come out in entirely different ways. Having him as a mirror, and being able to have these conversations with him, is one of the biggest gifts (and I am sorry for throwing him down the stairs when we were little…).
Who are your important “mirrors”?